Why weight loss is often not permanent and how you can change that.

May 11, 2026Fajah Lourens

Why losing weight is often not lasting and how you can change that

Weight loss is often the result of various factors. Eating incorrectly or too much is one of them, but what's much more important is the underlying cause of eating too much and incorrectly. Eating incorrectly is often due to ignorance: you haven't learned what's healthy, haven't learned to read labels, and you unconsciously consume incorrect ingredients. But there's also a major reason, which is eating the wrong things because you want to treat yourself, or because you want to comfort yourself due to stress and you've taught yourself to regulate stress with food. You can't do much about that. This starts very early. Just think of your mom breastfeeding you when you cry, or giving you something nice when you're hurt and have fallen. We are programmed very early that tasty things, which are often unhealthy, serve as comfort. We even get an apple when we fall.

Why we associate food with comfort and coziness

Then we are also programmed that coziness always goes hand in hand with food. As a result, it has become boring to chat with a friend without something tasty. There has to be something to snack on, otherwise it's boring.

I myself have linked locations to food. For example, at my mother's, the first thing I look for in the fridge is dark chocolate. At Loods 5, I order coffee for the butter cake, and when I get into my friend's car, I immediately open his glove compartment looking for wine gums that I never buy myself. All programming that you can easily reprogram by doing things differently. If you become aware of this behavior, you can consciously choose to replace it with a healthier solution.

You are what you think

Then we have the part about thoughts. You are what you think. That is a very large part of your outcome. And although more and more people are starting to believe in this and even beginning to understand the science behind it, there are also many people who think it's woo-woo. I'll use the down-to-earth explanation.

Imagine you look in the mirror and you're not happy with yourself. We always focus on what we don't find beautiful about ourselves. So we look at our belly, thick arms, or double chin and then walk away from the mirror. Without really realizing it, you get an unpleasant gut feeling. After a few minutes, you might think: I'm not feeling so great today, not realizing that this is due to the negative thoughts you just had about yourself. The focus on what you don't find beautiful about yourself and the accompanying thought that you'll never manage to change.

Because you're programmed that when you don't feel good, eating something tasty helps, you now do it almost automatically. Food gives you a temporary dopamine shot that makes you feel a little better. This keeps the belly and you get what you've come to believe about yourself. We call this a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Awareness is the first step to change

The beautiful thing is that this is often all unconscious behavior, and by reading my letter to you, something is already going to change. Everything can still change. There is a lot of hope, starting with awareness.

If from now on you no longer look at what you don't find beautiful about yourself, but only at what you do find beautiful, you will change your feeling about yourself. So I'm not saying you should look at your fat roll with "oh how beautiful you are," because no one believes that, but that you should especially pay attention to what you already find beautiful.

In addition, every time you think of something you don't find beautiful about yourself, you add: "but I am grateful for those legs, because without those legs I couldn't walk. Oh how wonderful that I can walk, thank you."

Thick arms? Ugh. You notice the thought and add: "sorry, I'm actually very happy that I have two working arms that help me with my daily existence." In this way, you slowly make negative thoughts, which largely occur unconsciously, more positive. That will make your body change, believe me.

Healthy living starts with mindset

In addition, you learn to read labels and always choose proteins when eating, not just sugars, make sure to combine them with proteins and fats.

Losing weight and living healthy is a mindset, and I can and want to help you learn the right mindset. That's why we have the second edition of Killerstart, an event with three speakers, including myself. I will talk about taking ownership of your life, only then can you truly change it.

Breathing, stress and weight loss

Ivan van Eijsden will help you understand the power of breathing and how it can enable you to quickly regulate stress yourself, which is very important if you want to lose weight and/or become healthier. If you can replace eating or snacking with breathwork, you have struck gold.