Adjusting means trying to do it just a little better within your old pattern. Breaking means looking at why the pattern is there and replacing it. When losing weight, most people choose adjusting, and that's why it often comes back.
This is my view on eating behaviour, informed by research on habits and by what I see with Killerbody and in my coaching. It is not medical advice.
What is the difference between adjusting and breaking?
Adjusting is: eating less today, being stricter, adding a rule. You stay in the same pattern and try to keep it up with more willpower. Breaking is: you ask what you're actually looking for when you reach for food, and you learn to do something different with that feeling. Why willpower alone often isn't enough, you can read in why willpower doesn't work for weight loss.
What does research say about habits?
Habits form through repetition in the same situation, until you do them without thinking. In a well-known study by Lally and colleagues, it took an average of 66 days for a new behaviour to become automatic, with a range of 18 to 254 days. Wood and Neal show that much of our behaviour is driven by habit and environment, not by a conscious choice in the moment itself. You can read more about how your brain stores this in how your brain stores and breaks habits.
Why does adjusting usually only work for a while?
- You leave the cause in place. If stress, sadness or tiredness is the trigger, being stricter won't make it go away.
- It costs a lot of energy. Deciding every day takes strength, and on a hard day it runs out.
- You get defensive. People who punish themselves often end up with more cravings and more guilt.
So how do you break a pattern?
- See the pattern. When do you eat without being hungry? After a conversation, in the evening, after a hard day? Write it down for a week.
- Name what lies underneath. Which feeling or thought comes before the bite? See Think yourself slim: the thought before the bite.
- Choose a different answer. Not "don't eat", but something that actually gives that feeling something: moving, calling someone, resting, writing.
- Repeat it. A new habit only becomes strong through repetition. Count on weeks to months, not days.
- Be gentle when it doesn't work. A relapse is part of learning and is not proof that it doesn't work.
Where do I start?
With mindset. In Killermindset I describe how your thinking steers your eating, and in the weight-loss coach guide you can read how coaching guides that step by step. Support in your daily eating is possible with a meal shake at busy moments, so you don't eat on autopilot.
Would you like someone to look along with you?
At 1-on-1 coaching you leave your details and Fleur will call you.
When is extra help a good idea?
Do you have binges, shame or a fear of food that rules your day-to-day life? Then talk to your GP. That's not failing, it's a smart step.
Frequently asked questions
What does breaking patterns mean when losing weight?
It means you don't just adjust your behaviour, but discover what keeps the pattern going and practise a different answer to it.
How long does it take to change an eating pattern?
Research shows that a new habit took an average of about 66 days to become automatic, with big differences between people and habits.
Why doesn't adjusting work?
Because the cause, such as stress or a feeling, remains and willpower is limited. If you don't do something different with that feeling, the pattern comes back.
Is this the same as following a diet?
No. A diet is a rule for your food. Breaking is about what you do with the moment you reach for food.
Sources: Lally et al. (2010), How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world, European Journal of Social Psychology; Wood & Neal (2007), A new look at habits and the habit-goal interface, Psychological Review.
About the author: Fajah Lourens is the founder of Killerbody (since 2015), has written books of which 350,000 copies have been sold in total, and is an NLP practitioner.
