Your brain stores repeated behaviour as an automatic routine so you no longer have to think about it. A habit starts with a cue, follows a fixed action and ends with a reward. To break one, you change the cue, the action or the reward, and you repeat that for long enough.
That is good news. What was stored for years is not fixed, it was learned. And what was learned can be learned again.
How does your brain store a habit?
Your brain saves energy. When you do something often in the same situation, the action becomes more and more automatic. Research shows that a large part of what we do every day is habit behaviour, not a conscious choice. That includes eating: coffee with something sweet, a bag of crisps in front of the TV, a bite while cooking.
What does a habit consist of?
- The cue: a time, place, feeling or person.
- The action: what you then do, often without thinking.
- The reward: calm, comfort, pleasure or distraction. Your brain remembers: this works.
How long does it take to change a habit?
A well-known study by Lally and colleagues found an average of 66 days before a new action became automatic, with a range of 18 to 254 days. So there is no magic number. Missing a single day also made no difference in that study. This is why I work with six-month programmes.
How do you break a habit?
- Change your environment. Habits are tied to places and moments. A different place or order weakens the cue.
- Replace, don't forbid. A ban increases attention to what you are not allowed to do.
- Get the same reward another way. If you want calm, choose a walk or a cup of tea instead of crisps.
- Keep it small. One small change lasts longer than ten big ones.
- Notice the thought before the action. That is often where it starts.
Why does it often not work alone?
Because your own cues are hard to see. You are in the middle of it. A coach mirrors your pattern so you can change it instead of fighting it again. You can read more in the weight loss coach guide. Want to tackle it together? On the 1-on-1 coaching page you leave your details and Fleur will call you. A protein-rich shake as a fixed meal also helps you replace a habit, see our weight loss shakes.
Frequently asked questions
How long does it take to unlearn a habit?
On average a little over two months for a new habit, with big differences. Old habits do not disappear completely but get weaker when you replace them.
Why do I keep falling back into old habits?
Under stress your brain falls back on what it knows well. Relapses are part of the process and do not mean you failed.
Can you change habits without willpower?
Yes, by adjusting your environment and cues so you need less willpower.
Sources: Lally et al. (2010), How are habits formed: modelling habit formation in the real world, European Journal of Social Psychology; Wood, Quinn & Kashy (2002), Habits in everyday life, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
So I am going to help you.
About the author: Fajah Lourens is the founder of Killerbody (since 2015), has written books that sold 350,000 copies in total, and is an NLP practitioner.
