Comfort eating is eating to dampen a feeling, not because your body needs energy. You reach for food because it gives you a moment of calm when something becomes too big, and that is human. The problem is that the calm is short-lived and the feeling stays.
Many women tell me they feel guilty afterwards. That guilt only strengthens the pattern. So here we first look at what is actually happening, without judgement.
What exactly is comfort eating?
Comfort eating is eating in response to a feeling: sadness, tension, loneliness, disappointment or simply a day that was too full. You are not eating because you are hungry, but because you are looking for comfort. It is a form of emotional eating, with the emphasis on looking for security.
Why do you reach for food when it all gets too much?
Food works fast: it distracts you and gives a short feeling of calm. Research on emotional eating shows that many people eat more often when they feel bad, and that this pattern sets in through repetition. Your brain learns: feeling too big, then eat. You can read how that works in eating to suppress feelings. Is stress the main factor? Then read stopping stress eating.
How do you recognise comfort eating?
| Sign | Physical hunger | Comfort craving |
|---|---|---|
| How it starts | Gradually | Suddenly, 'I need something now' |
| What you want | Anything, including regular meals | Something specific, often sweet or crunchy |
| After eating | Satisfied | Guilty or empty |
| What came before | A few hours without food | A feeling, a conversation or a hard day |
What can you do in the moment?
- Pause for ten minutes. Step outside, stretch or drink a glass of water. Cravings come in waves and often fade on their own.
- Name the feeling. Say or write: 'I feel ... because ...'. A feeling with a name feels less big.
- Ask yourself what you really need right now. Rest, a conversation, a hug, sleep? Sometimes the answer is simply food, and that is okay.
- Did you eat anyway? Don't punish yourself. Eat your next meal as normal, without compensating or skipping it.
What helps in the long run?
Regularity. If you skip meals, real hunger piles on top of your feeling and the craving gets stronger. A protein-rich meal keeps you full for longer; on busy days a meal shake is an easy option. Sleep, being kind to yourself and tackling the pattern underneath also help. We do that step by step; in the weight loss coach guide you can read how.
Would you like someone to look along with you?
On 1-on-1 coaching you leave your details and Fleur will call you.
When is extra help wise?
Do you regularly eat large amounts in a short time, feel powerless afterwards or suffer a lot from it? Then talk to your GP. That is not failure, it is a smart step.
Frequently asked questions
Is comfort eating bad?
Comfort eating now and then is completely normal. It becomes difficult when it is your only way of dealing with feelings or when you feel a lot of guilt about it.
How do you stop comfort eating?
By first noticing what you feel, eating regularly and learning what your feeling really needs. Being strict with yourself usually backfires.
Is comfort eating the same as emotional eating?
They are very similar. Comfort eating is a form of emotional eating, where you mainly look for security or calm.
Sources: Frayn & Knäuper (2018), Emotional eating and weight in adults: a review, Current Psychology; Van Strien (2018), Causes of emotional eating and matched treatment of obesity, Current Diabetes Reports; Thuisarts.nl (binge eating).
So I am going to help you.
About the author: Fajah Lourens is the founder of Killerbody (since 2015), has written books that have sold 350,000 copies in total, and is an NLP practitioner.
