You don't stop binge eating by being stricter with yourself, but by understanding what comes before it. A binge usually arises from a combination of eating too little, a feeling that's too big, and the guilt afterwards that feeds the next moment. Punishment keeps that pattern going.
If you feel guilty after a binge, you're not alone. That's why we start here without judgement: first understand, then change.
What exactly is a binge?
A binge is a moment when you eat far more than you planned in a short time and feel you can't stop. It isn't about one biscuit too many. It's about loss of control, often followed by shame. It's often linked to emotional eating, but it's not exactly the same thing.
Why do you get binges?
There's usually not one single cause. These are the patterns I see most often:
- Eating too strictly during the day. If you skip a lot or eat very little, you build up real hunger that later turns into a binge.
- A feeling that becomes too big. Food dampens a feeling for a moment. Also read comfort eating and how to stop stress eating.
- All-or-nothing thinking. "I've already ruined it" turns one slip into a whole evening.
- Guilt afterwards. Punishment or compensation (not eating the next day) sets the cycle in motion again.
What can you do when you notice a binge coming?
- Pause and breathe. Go to another room for three minutes. A peak of craving often fades if you don't give in straight away.
- Ask: what just happened? A conversation, a message, tiredness, an empty stomach? Once you see the trigger, the urge loses strength.
- Eat something ordinary, at the table. No forbidden food that you'll end up "finishing off" later anyway. A protein-rich meal or a meal shake can help if you haven't eaten for too long.
- Did you eat a lot anyway? Eat your next meal at the normal time. Don't skip it, don't compensate, don't step on the scales to punish yourself.
What helps in the long term?
Three things: eating regularly so hunger doesn't ambush you, learning to name what you feel before you eat, and talking to yourself more kindly. That last one sounds soft, but research on emotional eating shows that negative emotions and guilt actually reinforce the pattern. I describe an approach that keeps working in the weight-loss coach guide.
Would you like someone to look along with you?
At 1-on-1 coaching you leave your details and Fleur will call you.
When is help from your GP a good idea?
Do you have binges regularly, feel powerless, eat in secret or suffer greatly from it? Then talk to your GP. Binges can be part of a binge eating disorder, and there is good treatment for that. Asking for help is not failing, it's a smart step.
Frequently asked questions
Why do I get binges?
Usually from a mix of eating too strictly, a feeling that becomes too big and guilt afterwards. There's rarely a single cause.
How do you stop binge eating without punishing yourself?
By eating regularly, naming the feeling that came before it and, after a binge, simply eating your next meal without compensating.
Is a binge the same as emotional eating?
No. Emotional eating is eating in response to a feeling. With a binge you also end up in loss of control and shame. One can turn into the other.
When should I go to my GP?
If binges keep coming back, you feel powerless about them or suffer greatly from them. Then professional help is a good idea.
Sources: Frayn & Knäuper (2018), Emotional eating and weight in adults: a review, Current Psychology; Van Strien (2018), Causes of emotional eating and matched treatment of obesity, Current Diabetes Reports; Thuisarts.nl (binge eating).
About the author: Fajah Lourens is the founder of Killerbody (since 2015), has written books of which 350,000 copies have been sold in total, and is an NLP practitioner.
