Weight loss starts in your head: lasting weight loss only works when your thoughts, beliefs and habits move along with your eating plan. A diet changes what you eat. A mindset changes why you eat and whether you keep going when things get hard.
Two women can follow the same plan, and one sticks with it for years while the other quits after three weeks. The difference is rarely the plan. It is what happens in your head the moment it gets difficult. You can find the complete overview of losing weight with guidance in the weight loss coach guide.
What do we mean by a mindset in weight loss?
Your mindset is the way you look at yourself, food and change. It is the thoughts that pop up automatically: "I'll never manage this" or "it has already gone wrong, so I might as well carry on". Such thoughts feel like truth, but they are learned patterns. And what is learned can be unlearned. I wrote about this before in everything starts with your mindset.
Why does a diet without mindset work often fail?
Because a diet forces your behaviour temporarily but does not change your beliefs. As soon as stress returns, your brain falls back on the old route. Research shows how strong this is: in a well-known experiment, people who were strict with themselves ate more after a single "slip", while people who were kinder to themselves overate less. Being hard on yourself does not make you stronger, it makes you more vulnerable to derailing.
Read more about why willpower alone is not enough in why willpower does not work when losing weight.
Which thoughts hold you back?
- All or nothing: "I ate a cookie, so the day is ruined."
- Perfectionism: "If I can't do it perfectly, why bother?"
- Labels: "I'm just someone who gains weight easily."
- Comparing: "Others can do this, I can't."
- The harsh voice: an inner critic that rejects every step. In my Killermindset you learn to recognise that voice.
How do you build a mindset that lasts?
- Recognise your pattern. For a week, write down which thought comes before an eating moment.
- Replace "failed" with "information". A slip tells you what you needed, not who you are.
- Keep your goal small and concrete. One habit at a time lasts longer than ten new rules.
- Talk to yourself like you would to a friend. That is not weakness, it demonstrably works better.
- Find support. A coach sees patterns you no longer see yourself. Also read Think Yourself Slim: the thought before the bite.
How long before a new habit sticks?
On average about two months, but it differs a lot per person and per habit. In a well-known study it ranged from a few weeks to more than eight months. That is why I do not work with quick tricks, but with a six-month programme in which new patterns can really settle in. Want nutrition support as well? Take a look at our weight loss products.
Would you like personal help with this?
On 1-on-1 coaching you leave your details, and Fleur will call you to see what suits you.
Frequently asked questions
Can you lose weight without changing your mindset?
Temporarily, yes, but the weight often comes back. Lasting weight loss means also tackling your habits and thoughts around food.
What is the best mindset for losing weight?
A kind but consistent attitude: small steps, no all-or-nothing thinking, and seeing a slip as information rather than failure.
How do I stop negative thoughts about losing weight?
By first noticing and writing them down, and then replacing them with a realistic, kind thought. A coach can guide you through this.
Sources: Adams & Leary (2007), Promoting self-compassionate attitudes toward eating among restrictive and guilty eaters, Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology; Lally et al. (2010), How are habits formed: modelling habit formation in the real world, European Journal of Social Psychology.
So I'm going to help you.
About the author: Fajah Lourens is the founder of Killerbody (since 2015), wrote books that have sold 350,000 copies in total, and is an NLP practitioner.
